the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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