cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
bring money and cleavage
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
