But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
