remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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