If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
