This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
not ubering you a puppy
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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