the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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