We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
