I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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