now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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