...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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