he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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