Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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