I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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