Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
