I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
