can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
