wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
