Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
