Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
