Kiss
Puke
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think people are normalizing furries
My feet surprised me
Randomize
