I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
worst night to have a conscience
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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