why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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