I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
