You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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