and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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