No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
