Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
