but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
