i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
