Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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