I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
