I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
