I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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