walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize