Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
