Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
