why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
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He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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