Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
