Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
