I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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