Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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