when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
