Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize