he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We need a shit load of segways right now
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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