yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
