So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
