I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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