His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize