That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
