Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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