ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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