you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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