ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry about my life...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
