1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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