Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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