Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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