I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
