Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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