we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize