Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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