I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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