im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
